Tag: work-life balance

THE BASIC CHIC

THE BASIC CHIC

The basic chic…

Where did this slang come from?

I have heard this term being used to describe other ladies and to be sincere it had only been used by the typical “mean girls”. We all have one or two of them in our social circle. You know those chics that seem to have done well for themselves and overnight develop that “you can’t sit with us” attitude? Yes those ones!

I can recall one of those cringe worthy moments I first heard that term being used. I was at an event and I was seated with some ladies. I just met them and you know how it is when a few of their friends walked up to them to say hello. Well after just about an hour of sitting with them and getting to know them I was able to identify the queen bee of the group and this one came with the fakest and most confused accent of them all (a mixture of American and British accent topped up with our Yoruba “h factor”- at least we had that in common).

A lady walked up to them to say hello but everyone responded pleasantly except Aunty Queen Bee who just simply looked away. The lady in question practically scampered away, and everyone at the table kept quiet, after a few minutes, one of the girls was composed enough to ask “Aunty Queen B” why she snubbed the girl, and her answer left me confused and angry at the same time.

Her response was and I quote “That girl is a basic chic now! Did you see the bag she was carrying, a knock off LV bag, and she wants to feel among”

My confusion and anger turned into total repulsion and I excused myself from the table and joined another one with a free chair. I refuse to be judged or associated with based on material things I own. I have my standards as regards people I chose to associate with and the bar is definitely not set by the amount of money in your bank account or the brand name of your purse. Whatever happened to the richness of a person’s mind, values, morals, and a kind heart! I just can’t deal.

 

 

 

Anyway, here I was writing a piece on mediocrity, and a Facebook notification got me thinking about that incident and I did a detour and started this piece on “the basic chic” The Facebook notification was a comment to a post via my Instagram feed, and when I checked it, it was a comment by someone, and all the person had to say was “Jack of all trades”.

My first reaction was anger, I was not angry she called me a jack of all trades, I was angry she did not complete that phrase with what I chose to be. You see, she was right; I am a Jack of all trades-Master of all. I have an enviable career with a top oil and gas firm, I built my fashion retail business from nothing and I can proudly say it is doing well enough to cater for the salaries of some people I know *side eyes, and now I am blogging amongst several other things. All of these things I have always dreamt of doing even though when I was little I thought I was going to have to choose one of them, I never for a million years thought I would have been able to juggle.

I dare not succumb to society’s definition of whom and what I should be, a reliance on a 9 to 5 job will have my mother rolling in her grave. I know everyone says this, but I was raised by the most awesome woman that ever lived. Not only in terms of the values she instilled in me, she was a serial entrepreneur. A civil servant in the 80’s who was owed salaries for several months, raised 6 kids on her own from one small soap making business inside our home, to a local eatery, then a salon and finally a thriving event management rental business that outlived her.

And then it struck me! I finally had my definition of what a basic chic is.

A basic chic is that dreamer who for the fear of failure will not go after her dreams.

A basic chic is that girl would love to join the lekki-Ikoyi bridge jogging crew for whatever reason, but is scared of being labelled “desperate”.

 

A basic chic is that person who for the fear of being labelled “you like money” will not give her entrepreneurial streak a chance, but will stick to that 9-5 jobs she totally hates.

A basic chic is that person who would rather be a home maker but is too scared to go for it, not because her husband won’t support her, but because she is worried about what people will say.

A basic chic is that person who wants to build a professional career but will not put in a few hours overtime, because she doesn’t want her colleagues to think she is trying to please the boss.

In summary, a basic chic is not that girl that wears little or no make-up, it isn’t that girl with the “Guggi” wristwatch or knock-off LV bag! She is “anyone” who does not have a mind of her own and allows society or a few people dictate what is acceptable and what the norm is.

 

So this piece is for all the basic chics out there, you were born original, don’t die a copy! Chart your own course, set your own limits and remember; you are only in competition with that image staring back at you in the mirror.

Signing out! Or should I say *drops mic*

WORK-LIFE BALANCE

HAVING IT ALL AND MORE

Have you ever come across a woman who seems to have it all figured out? A typical “super woman”, who has somehow gotten the secret formula and is successfully juggling a promising career, and successful marriage, motherhood and a business of her own, Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying having all of these defines how successful a woman is, however, if this is what you are all about and would like to achieve, then this article is for you.

The major key to having it all is PRIORITIZATION. Yup. You need to prioritize. Nobody sets out to having it all on day one. So to start off, you need to consider what the end game is. Not all you seek to achieve will grow at the same rate and as you know, the grass is greener only where it is watered so you need to determine what you want to achieve at each stage in your life, and focus more energy on it.

There is this popular story about prioritization where an old professor of the School of Public Management in France, was invited to lecture on the topic of “Efficient Time Management” in front of a group of 15 executive managers representing the largest, most successful companies in America. The lecture was one in a series of 5 lectures conducted in one day, and the old professor was given 1 hr. to lecture.

Standing in front of this group of elite managers, who were willing to write down every word that would come out of the famous professor’s mouth, the professor slowly met eyes with each manager, one by one, and finally said, “We are going to conduct an experiment”.

Jar of rocks

From under the table that stood between the professor and the listeners, the professor pulled out a big glass jar and gently placed it in front of him. Next, he pulled out from under the table a bag of stones, each the size of a tennis ball, and placed the stones one by one in the jar. He did so until there was no room to add another stone in the jar. Lifting his gaze to the managers, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” The managers replied, “Yes”.

The professor paused for a moment, and replied, “Really?”

Once again, he reached under the table and pulled out a bag full of pebbles. Carefully, the professor poured the pebbles in and slightly rattled the jar, allowing the pebbles to slip through the larger stones, until they settled at the bottom. Again, the professor lifted his gaze to his audience and asked, “Is the jar full?”

At this point, the managers began to understand his intentions. One replied, “Apparently not!”

“Correct”, replied the old professor, now pulling out a bag of sand from under the table. Cautiously, the professor poured the sand into the jar. The sand filled up the spaces between the stones and the pebbles.

Yet again, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?”

Without hesitation, the entire group of students replied in unison, “NO!”

“Correct”, replied the professor. And as was expected by the students, the professor reached for the pitcher of water that was on the table, and poured water in the jar until it was absolutely full. The professor now lifted his gaze once again and asked, “What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?”

With his thoughts on the lecture topic, one manager quickly replied, “We learn that as full as our schedules may appear, if we only increase our effort, it is always possible to add more meetings and tasks.”

“No”, replied the professor. The great truth that we can conclude from this experiment is:

If we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.

The auditorium fell silent, as every manager processed the significance of the professor’s words in their entirety.

The old professor continued, “What are the large stones in your life? Health? Family? Friends? Your goals? Doing what you love? Fighting for a Cause? Taking time for yourself?”

What we must remember is that it is most important to include the larger stones in our lives, because if we don’t do so, we are likely to miss out on life altogether. If we give priority to the smaller things in life (pebbles & sand), our lives will be filled up with less important things, leaving little or no time for the things in our lives that are most important to us. Because of this, never forget to ask yourself,

What are the Large Stones in your Life? And once you identify them, be sure to put them first in your “Jar of Life”.

With a warm wave of his hand, the professor bid farewell to the managers, and slowly walked out of the room.

 

Identify the pebbles, stones and water in your life and you will be surprised at how things will change once you change the way you look at things.

Most Nigerians are trapped in the Wok-Traffic-Home rat race. Live a little, go dancing, goof around with your kids, learn something new, don’t say there is no time, you know you can make time.

You were not born to pay bills and die.

I will love to hear from you. Are you good at juggling? Do you find yourself with little or no time to do anything apart from work every week day? How do you maintain that work life balance? Please share and comment in the section below.

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE THE SAME 24HOURS IN A DAY JUST LIKE BEYONCE,…